Saturday, December 30, 2006

Equanimity

I found an equanimity exercise that is really very powerful. Take a look:

Visualise in front of you three persons: at the left a good friend, in the middle a stranger, to the right an enemy or someone you cannot stand.

- Concentrate on the friend in front and examine your feelings towards him or her.
- Now concentrate on the stranger and examine your feelings towards him or her.
- Now concentrate on the enemy and examine your feelings towards him or her.
- Return to the stranger and realise that this person can easily become your friend or enemy in the future.
- Next, look at the friend and realise that this person may become your enemy in the future when cheating or hurting you.
- Now, look at the enemy and realise that this person may become your friend in the future when helping you.
- Again look at your friend and try to strongly feel love and appreciation.
- Now look at the stranger and try to hold this feeling towards this person.
- Again look at your friend and try to strongly feel love and appreciation.
- Now try to hold this feeling while looking at the enemy; is it really impossible to feel some love and compassion for this person?
- Try to realise that all three, friend, stranger and enemy are completely equal in trying to become happy and trying to avoid suffering.


It is a very effective exercise to realize that a friend may one day be an enemy and an enemy may one day be a friend. I have certainly experienced both.

I have found it most helpful to remember that my enemies are motivated by the same wish that I have - that is, the wish to be happy. It helps me to have compassion on them to realize that they want what I want and so we at least have that in common.

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